


There's Something You Should Know...

by Kdragon1209



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood (tiny bit), Gen, Human Biology, Human vs Alien biology, Injury?, Misunderstandings, POV Coran (Voltron), Protective Coran (Voltron), Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), worried coran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29346480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kdragon1209/pseuds/Kdragon1209
Summary: Coran was washing his hands before he left the bathroom, humming to himself as he scrubbed. Something shiny on the ground happened to catch his eye. Coran finished drying his hands before he squatted down to investigate. What he saw instantly ignited his worries, fear eddying around the edges of his emotions.Blood.It was a single drop, but it was clearly blood. Not to mention human blood, Coran thought with growing worry.Or, Coran stumbles across some blood droplets and fears that one of his paladins is injured, but what Coran doesn't know is he's about to get an interesting lesson in human biology.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	There's Something You Should Know...

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, yes, classic misunderstandings between aliens and humans. Obviously there's bound to be physiological differences between humans and Alteans. This idea came to me from a "Humans are Weird" tumblr post. It was quite frankly hilarious to me and thought I would employ a similar situation in the Voltron universe. 
> 
> Number One = Shiro  
> Number Two = Hunk  
> Number Three = Lance  
> Number Four = Keith  
> Number Five = Pidge

“You should have seen it, the new paladins of Voltron performed fantastically today. They blasted through an entire fleet of Galra battle cruisers and destroyed a sentry robot factory, all while saving the inhabitants of planet Vermilia. It was a spectacular sight to see, if I do say so myself,” Coran said to himself as he worked. The castle’s shields had taken heavy damages and he was up late repairing them. Everyone else had gone to bed, even Number One, after Coran caught him wandering the halls and herded him off to his room. He also made sure Number Five actually went to bed instead of staying on her primitive laptop all night to search for her brother. Coran even made sure to check that Number Four wasn’t at the training deck either. It seemed that Number Three and Number Two were the only ones who he didn’t have to force to go to bed, but he supposed even they had their own set of quirks too.

Coran chuckled to himself. “Well, they are quite a handful, don’t get me wrong. Each one of them has got their own special set of challenges, but at least they keep me on my toes.” Coran sighed, “Ah, even your dearest daughter performed well today, coming up with an excellent strategy for victory in the midst of battle. It was truly a sight to see.” Coran lowered his hands from the screens, reminiscing for a moment. “I just wish you were here to see it, Alfor. You left too soon.” Coran sighed again, but he continued to talk as he worked on the shields.

Once Coran finally had the shields fixed and up and running, he decided to do another quick round around the castle before he went to bed, in case he found anyone up again. Coran made his way through the dimly lit halls, the blue lights casting a soft glow over the metal floors. He took the long way around, making sure all the castle’s main instruments and machinery looked normal. Coran also stopped by all the lions’ hangars, checking on them too for a peace of mind before he headed toward the paladins’ rooms.

It was then that Coran suddenly had the urgent call of nature. He hurriedly located the nearest bathroom and ducked inside. He quickly did his duty and was washing his hands before he left, humming to himself as he scrubbed. Something shiny on the ground happened to catch his eye. Coran finished drying his hands before he squatted down to investigate. What he saw instantly ignited his worries, fear eddying around the edges of his emotions.

Blood.

It was a single drop, but it was clearly blood. _Not to mention human blood,_ Coran thought with growing worry. He quickly searched around the bathroom, looking for anymore traces, and found a few more droplets on the floor in one of the stalls. Was someone injured? Obviously it had to be one of the paladins, but he wasn’t certain which one. And given that he was in one of the communal bathrooms, he had no idea.

Number Four instantly sprung to mind as the likely suspect. He had a habit of toughening out minor injuries—a stubbornness that Coran couldn’t budge no matter how hard he tried. But Coran knew for a fact that Number Four had only sustained some bruises and a mild concussion after the battle—after all, Coran had checked every inch of him personally.

Coran stroked his mustache, deep in thought. _Well, I can cross Number Two off the list, he’s super squeamish around blood. And I can cross Number Three off the list, he would vocalize if anything was hurting. Which leaves Number One and Number Five._ Coran frowned, trying to remember if any of their behaviors had been unusual today. Other than Number Five being grumpy—more than her usual level of grumpiness anyways—nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Coran seriously thought about cornering the two suspects and asking them outright if anything was wrong, but he knew from previous experience that both of them would insist they were fine.

“Well, the only other way to figure that out is to do an analysis of their genetic makeup, but that would require me to get samples to compare to. Hmmmm…” Coran mused. Coran drummed his fingers on his thigh, running through possible scenarios of how that would pan out. In the end, he decided to collect a sample of the blood and run an analysis only if he couldn’t deduce who it was on his own. While he was at it, he cleaned up the other droplets and made sure he didn’t miss any.

When everything was cleaned to Coran’s satisfaction, he headed to the infirmary to store the blood sample for safe keeping in case he needed it. Hopefully he could observe his two suspects in the morning, figure out which one it was, and confront them privately. And with that, Coran headed to bed.

The next morning, Coran kept a sharp eye on Number One and Number Five during breakfast, observing their interactions with the others, watching their movements, and looking for any indications they were in pain. He noted that both of his suspects had bags under their eyes from lack of sleep, but that wasn’t uncommon for them. Coran also noted that his previous observation of Number Five being grouchier than usual still held true. It seemed Number Three picked up on it as well.

“Geez Pidge, I was just making a joke,” Number Three pointed out.

“Yeah, well, I slept like crap last night and I have a headache, so tone it down,” she snapped.

Number Three was about to open his mouth to retort, but Number Two beat him to it. “Actually Lance, I’d appreciate it if it was a little quieter. I didn’t sleep well last night either,” Number Two admitted.

Number Three seemed to settle back into his seat and gave his friend an understanding look. “Oh, one of those nights huh?” Number Two nodded and Number Three threw his arm around the other sympathetically. Coran made a mental note to find out more about “those nights” that the two Earthlings were referring to later.

The rest of the meal was spent in relative silence, save for a side conversation between Number Two and Number Three. Number One had his gaze focused on the two younger paladins as they conversed, but he seemed to be struggling to keep his focus. Under normal circumstances, Coran would have written that off to early morning grogginess, but these weren’t normal circumstances. He watched Number One like a zularrad, observing every movement he made and the subtle shifts in his posture and expressions. His movements were stiffer than usual, as if…as if something pained him.

“Coran, did you manage to get the shields fixed last night?” Allura asked, pulling Coran from his thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, yes Princess. Should be good to go now,” Coran answered. He then returned to his staring.

“You seem rather…focused today,” Allura commented.

“Yes, well any time I get to observe the Earthlings interact and learn something new is a time well spent,” Coran fibbed.

Allura chuckled. “Yes, I suppose there’s some truth to that. Unfortunately, the castle’s database doesn’t have any information on Earthlings.”

“Something tells me even if it did, it wouldn’t accurately represent them. From my understanding—granted, we have a small sample population—but I get the feeling Earth is more diverse than we know of.” Coran stroked his mustache as he talked, Number One never completely leaving his sight. He was silently thankful that the princess didn’t pick up on _who_ exactly he was observing. The conversation died and Coran went back to watching Number One, calculating when it was best to corner him. Coran decided it was best to try immediately after breakfast concluded.

Once everyone was done and they were all getting up to leave, Coran quickly made his way over to the black paladin. “May I have a word with you, Number One?” Coran asked as he approached. He detected the paladin’s muscles tensing before relaxing as he turned around. Number One nodded and wordlessly followed Coran into the hallway. Coran made sure they were out of earshot before he turned to address the human.

“Is something wrong?” Number One asked.

“I was hoping that was something you could tell me,” Coran said simply, keeping his expression neutral.

Number One’s brow furrowed. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Well, as you know, it was quite a battle yesterday, and I just wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

“Other than some morning soreness from the day after, I’m good.” Number One paused, studying Coran just as Coran was studying him. “Is there something wrong?”

Coran gave a great sigh as he thought it over. He was beginning to suspect Number One was not the person he was looking for. Which if it wasn’t Number One, then Coran had no clue who it was. Perhaps he needed a human’s help for a human problem. “Last night, I found blood in a bathroom,” Coran began. Number One didn’t react, but Coran could tell by the set of his jaw he was immediately worried. Coran continued, “It wasn’t much—just a few droplets—but while my main two jobs are to advise the princess and to provide maintenance to the castle, it seems I have become the unofficial doctor for everyone as well. That being said, I need to know when someone is injured.”

Number One took a deep breath in and out, closing his eyes while he thought. “Where did you find the blood?” he asked.

“In a communal bathroom, not far from the lion hangars.”

Number One’s frown deepened as he thought. “Obviously, my first guess is that it’s Keith.”

Coran nodded. “That was my first guess as well, but I checked him out personally and found nothing that broke the skin.”

“Well, I can assure you it’s not me. Yeah, I’m sore from yesterday, but I’m not bleeding.” Number One fell silent as he thought some more. “And it’s not Hunk, he doesn’t like blood, and it’s probably not Lance.”

“I came to the same conclusion as well. Number Three would vocalize if he was in any pain.”

“Which, that only leaves Pidge.” Number One suddenly fell silent as his eyes widened, puzzle pieces clearly slotting together in his head as he realized something.

“You know something?” Coran prodded gently.

A weird expression crossed Number One’s face, but it disappeared before Coran could decipher it. “Well, I uh—I can only hazard a guess. Um, I-I better go with you.” Coran nodded and followed Number One through the castle, silently wondering what had the black paladin stumbling over his words. All Coran knew was that he had a feeling he was about to learn more about the strange Earthlings than he bargained for. 

Coran later realized they were headed toward the hangars, specifically the Green Lion’s. Inside sat Number Five in her makeshift lab workspace, hunched over her laptop and furiously typing away on the keys, with Number Three and Number Two there as well. Number Two was working on something techy and Number Three was fiddling with the swivel chair he sat on.

“Pidge, we’ve got a couple of questions for you,” Number One began.

“Sure, what’s up?” Number Five answered, not looking up. Number Two glanced up and Number Three’s attention snapped straight to the exchange between the black and green paladins. 

“You might want to close your laptop for this.”

Coran thought Number Five was going to just continue typing like she usually did, but to his surprise, she saved what she was doing and closed the laptop. “Okay, what’s up? Oh, did the mice get into the laundry system again?”

“What? Oh, no, um…maybe Lance and Hunk should leave,” Number One suggested, his eyes darting to the other paladins. “It’s uh…more of a private matter.”

“Oh come on Shiro, we’re all family here. Nothing’s going to stay secret,” Number Three pointed out, throwing an arm around Number Five’s shoulders.

“Well, it’s uh…I think more of a ‘female’ issue,” Number One hinted. Number Two’s brow furrowed and Number Five instantly stilled, going several shades paler than her already pale skin. The gears in Number Three’s head seemed to be spinning, until something clicked and his face lit up in understanding. Coran watched the whole exchange, intrigued, as he tried to puzzle out their reactions.

“Hey Hunk, let’s go get some snacks,” Number Three said suddenly.

“But I’m almost done with—” Number Two protested.

“But I’m hungry now. Come on, let’s go.” Number Three grabbed the other by the arm and tugged him out the hangar, leaving Coran and Number One alone with Number Five.

Number One took a deep breath before he started. “Um…Coran found some blood last night—human blood—in one of the bathrooms. He was worried that one of us was injured and didn’t tell him, but I figured that wasn’t quite the full story. I also figured it might be easier if you were here to be a part of the explanation. Am I correct in my assumption?” Number Five gulped and nodded, clearly nervous. Number One sighed again, “So, do you want me to start or…?”

“No, I can,” Number Five mumbled. She looked around nervously, her gaze never quite meeting Coran’s or Number One’s. Coran noted that her cheeks had taken on a light pink hue. Her fingers played with the hem of her shirt and she took a deep breath before she spoke. “I’m uh…I’m on my period.” Number Five stopped fidgeting and sheepishly looked up at them.

Coran’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“That’s—that’s okay. Um, uh…certain mammals go through…what’s called a menstrual cycle, but we just call it a period in common language. It’s uh—part of the reproductive cycle for females,” Number Five explained. Coran tilted his head curiously, but waited for her to continue. Number Five took a deep breath before she continued her explanation, relaxing more when she was explaining it more scientifically than personally. Coran listened with a growing astonishment as Number Five explained about the peculiar biological process. She had to back track a few times when Coran didn’t understand something. Number One was mostly silent through the explanation, offering a few pointers or things to know here and there when he saw fit. Coran asked very few questions, mostly for clarification, but by the end of the explanation he was both horrified and fascinated by the process that human females underwent once a phoeb.

Coran nodded, turning over the new information in his head that he had just been presented with. He once again cursed the castle’s database, because for as vast as the knowledge it stored was, it was not vast enough to include anything about Earth, other than its location and its name.

“Does that make more sense?” Number Five asked hesitantly. She still looked uncomfortable, but it had considerably lessened since they first began the conversation.

Coran stroked his mustache as he thought things over. “Yes, but with the way you’re describing it, it sounds like that would cause a great deal of pain,” he concluded.

“Oh, all the time,” Number Five affirmed nonchalantly.

“All the time??” Coran echoed incredulously. “Then we must get you in a pod at once!”

Number Five chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Coran, it’s a natural thing. This happens fairly regularly. Some women don’t feel much of anything, whereas some experience excruciating pain and are bedridden most of the time. I’m somewhere in between, and it’ll sometimes come in waves where it’s very painful, but then it’s gone in twenty minutes. Some women will take special medications that helps alleviate pain and help with the symptoms, but I’ve never needed any. The symptoms vary from woman to woman too, but I mostly just get grumpier and easier to irritate.”

Coran pursed his lips and was silent as he thought about this again. “I think I’m beginning to understand. Is there anything you require then? Pain medications? Extra water? Or perhaps my famous juniberry delight dessert?”

“No, I think I’m good,” Number Five answered.

“Are you sure? I used to make it for Allura all the time when she was feeling under the weather.”

“Well, if you really want to make me something, it’ll have to be under Hunk’s supervision.”

Coran frowned, but he supposed that was fair. “Well, thank you very much for clearing that up. I guess with species differences there’s bound to be a few misunderstanding here and there, but I hope we got everything straightened out. Is there anything else I need to know? Do human males have any sort of cycles that I should know about?”

Number Five laughed. “No. Not that I know of. Shiro?”

“Other than our circadian rhythms, no, not really,” Number One replied with an amused grin.

“Oh, well there is that, but that’s not a _reproductive_ cycle,” Number Five pointed out. Coran couldn’t help but stare at them with a bewildered look on his face. “It’s the official term for biological sleep rhythms,” Number Five explained when she saw Coran’s expression.

Coran couldn’t help but grin. “Ah, I see. I’ll say, I’m going to need like a guide to humans or something. ‘Humans and how to take care of them,’ or something like that.”

“Guess you can be the first person to write one then,” Number One suggested, a smile spreading across his face.

Coran nodded. “Ah yes, I can see it now! ‘Everything You Need to Know About Earthlings!’”

“Well, if you’re doing that, then I’m going to make a guidebook on Alteans,” Number Five announced.

“Perhaps we could co-author each other’s books then!” Coran exclaimed. Number Two and Number Three returned to the hangar, packets of food goo and then some in their arms, along with something that suspiciously looked like candies.

“Hey Pidge, we brought you some of the funny-looking alien suckers that you like,” Number Three announced and presented them to Number Five.

“Aw, thanks guys,” Number Five said. She then selected one from the pile, undid the wrapper, and popped it into her mouth. “Anyways, let me know if you have any more questions Coran. Sorry to worry you.”

“Nonsense. I just want to make sure all those under my care are in tip top shape,” Coran said. “Though please tell me if you _do_ need anything, okay?”

Number Five frowned, but nevertheless gave in and a small smile crossed her face. “Alright, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Coran, trying to learn all the ins and outs of human culture all while having to adapt his medicines to human physiology. I also didn't want to give away too much about what the story is about, but I did try to hint at it some. 
> 
> I also wrote this in a whopping hour and had it edited and everything. I'm currently mad at my English teacher because we're supposed to be writing a narrative for an assignment and talks to us like we know NOTHING about how to write a story, so I'm PROVING HER WRONG. So ha.


End file.
